Southampton 0-5 Tottenham Hotspur: Player ratings to the theme of Midwestern ice cream flavors

Back when I was a young aspiring Tottenham blogger living in northern Indiana, my parents would occasionally treat my brother and me to Ray’s Ice Cream Parlor just a few blocks away on hot days. These trips felt like a big deal, and even though I didn't realize it back then, having a charming local ice cream spot right around the corner was something truly unique.

At the time, I didn’t realize how much regional variety there is in ice cream flavors across the country. When you’re seven, that kind of thing doesn’t really register. It didn’t click for me until I started dating my spouse, who is from California. We were both taken aback when I found out they had never tried a certain flavor, and we couldn't help but wonder what was going on.

This week, I explored ice cream flavors that are special to the Midwest in the U.S. There are some truly intriguing options! This topic might not resonate with our European audience, but that's perfectly fine. They can share their thoughts on the rankings while the rest of us focus on the ice cream conversation.

Check out our player evaluations for Tottenham Hotspur, inspired by distinctive ice cream flavors from the Midwest.

Five Stars For Blue Moon

One of my all-time favorite flavors at the classic Ray's Ice Cream is this intriguing one. Although it originated in Wisconsin, you can now find it throughout the Midwest. What does it actually taste like? Well, that's the million-dollar question. No one seems to have a definitive answer, and the creators are keeping it a secret. Some people describe it as a mix of mint, almond, and marshmallow, while others insist it reminds them of Froot Loops cereal. What I can definitely say is that it is very blue, and it's absolutely delicious. I still pick it up regularly, even though my wife, who hails from California, gives me a skeptical look every time.

Pape Sarr (Community — 4.5): This game suited Sarr perfectly, offering him plenty of room to maneuver and a number of less skilled midfielders to navigate around. He scored a great goal and had impressive teamwork with Bergvall, effectively functioning as a strong double pivot in the midfield.

James Maddison (Community — 4.5): One thing you can say about Madders is that while he might not consistently shine, when he does, he truly stands out. His two goals were outstanding, particularly the second one. He was also heavily involved in nearly every positive move Spurs made during the first half.

Son Heung-Min (Community — 4.5): He delivered two assists and scored a goal, and he might have added a few more if he'd been sharper with his finishing. He was vibrant and dynamic, reminiscent of his past performances. Remarkably, he accomplished all of this in just one half!

Pedro Porro (Community — 3.5): We were all hoping Porro would take it easy on Sunday, but I have to give him credit. As soon as he stepped onto the field, he appeared fully dedicated to his role, maintaining a steady pace instead of pushing himself to sprint. This is precisely what I wanted to see from him during the game—there’s no need to tire himself out when Deki can support him from behind. It worked out perfectly, and I appreciate his complete dedication. Great work, Pedro. Five stars.

Ange Postecoglou (Community — 4.5): We dominated the game while starting two teenagers, and Ange allowed them to ease off the intensity a bit in the second half. Spence made his first start, and Dorrington made his debut for the club. Solid management!

Superman ice cream is a beloved treat in Michigan, and since I lived near the border, I had easy access to it too. The ice cream features a vibrant mix of red, yellow, and blue, resembling Superman’s outfit, although interestingly enough, it actually came out before the superhero, appearing during the time of Prohibition (the comic was first published in 1938). The flavors can differ but typically include lemon banana, red soda, and blue moon or raspberry. It’s eye-catching and for a young child who loved comics, it was the perfect choice.

Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 4.0): Scored a nice goal and was highly active near Southampton's penalty area. He effectively supported Pedro when he pushed forward from time to time. He was dynamic across the field and showcased impressive skills.

Djed Spence (Community — 4.5): He made an immediate impression with a fantastic turn and a beautiful pass to Maddison just 40 seconds into the game. He showed promise in both offensive and defensive plays. He handled a quick switch to the wing well after Udogie got hurt. Overall, he performed well and we might want to give him more playing time.

Butter Brickle: A Tasty 4-Star Delight

Even though I'm not inclined to praise Nebraska too often, I have to acknowledge their role in creating and popularizing butter brickle ice cream. This delightful treat features a toffee-flavored base mixed with crunchy bits of butter toffee, and it may also be coated in chocolate. It's a true Midwestern specialty that tastes amazing—it's like a Heath Bar turned into ice cream. Delicious!

Archie Gray (Community — 4.0): I wish we could have seen him more at center midfield, but this was an ideal match for him to keep adjusting to the Premier League. He had another strong and steady game in defense.

Lucas Bergvall (Community — 4.0): Lucas seems to be getting used to the pace of the Premier League, and it appears he’s starting to really find his footing. He plays with a touch of confidence. While not every match will be as straightforward as this one, his potential is evident.

Bunny Trax: A 3.5-Star Review

You might be familiar with Moose Trax, the popular ice cream flavor that has made its way beyond the Midwest. But have you heard of Bunny Trax? This is a beloved treat from Iowa that locals are quite passionate about. It features vanilla ice cream drizzled with caramel and fudge sauces, topped with chocolate-covered peanuts and adorable peanut butter bunnies. What’s not to enjoy?

Fraser Forster (Community — 4.0): Honestly, he didn't have much to handle during the match. He made a few standard saves and allowed one goal, but it was ruled out for offside.

Radu Dragusin (Community — 4.0): He had a strong defensive game against an attack that struggled to create opportunities. It's great to see him utilizing long passes from deeper positions; we haven't had a player with that capability since Vertonghen.

Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.5): It’s tough to assess his performance following his injury substitution, but even though he appeared a bit fatigued, he played quite well overall.

Bourbon Vanilla Review: 3-Star Rating

Ah, Kentucky. What’s their secret trick for enhancing any decent dish? Just throw in some bourbon! Fortunately, bourbon pairs wonderfully with vanilla and milk, creating a rich blend that elevates a typically straightforward flavor. But let’s be honest… it’s still just an upscale version of vanilla, isn’t it?

Dominic Solanke (Community — 3.5): Odd match. You might expect that in a game where Spurs found the net five times, he would manage to score at least once. However, it seemed like he didn’t get many opportunities. He didn’t take a single shot. It was a surprisingly laid-back performance, though perhaps he simply didn’t need to be as engaged.

Alfie Dorrington (Community — 3.0): He made his debut with the first team and, overall, performed quite well against a struggling offense. He had one inaccurate pass that resulted in a Southampton goal, which was ultimately disallowed for offside, and he seemed troubled right after that. However, this match was an ideal opportunity for him to step onto the field for the first time. I’d love to see more of him in the future.

Grape Nuts: A 2.5-Star Review

I’ll admit I'm bending the rules here since Grape Nuts ice cream is mainly a northeastern treat, but it has reached the Midwest. I distinctly remember enjoying it during visits to eastern Pennsylvania. The ice cream has a subtle malt flavor thanks to the cereal, and it adds an interesting crunch. However, I wouldn't claim it's the most amazing thing I've ever tasted. It's not that it's terrible—just that it doesn't compare to the other items on this list.

Brennan Johnson (Community — 3.0): It’s hard to pinpoint his contributions during the match, but to be fair, when you come into a game that’s already winning by five goals, there’s not much pressure to make a big impact.

Timo Werner (Community — 3.0): He was largely unnoticeable during his time on the field as a substitute, but he did deliver a nice cross into the penalty area that Johnson ended up shooting over the goal.

Teaberry is the vibrant red fruit from the wintergreen plant, and this bubblegum pink ice cream is a favorite in Pennsylvania. It definitely has a strong mint flavor—very intense. I tried it once because I enjoy the taste of wintergreen, but to me, it felt like eating frozen Pepto-Bismol. If that's something you enjoy, that's great! Personally, I think I’ll skip it the next time I'm in Lancaster County.

There are no players from Tottenham in this group.

1 Star: Black Walnut Tree Overview

I'm not a fan of walnuts, so this is a simple decision for me. Black walnuts have a flavor that intensifies the earthiness and bitterness of regular English walnuts, which doesn’t get balanced out by the sweetness of the cream. There are very few ice creams that I would refuse if someone offered them, but black walnut is definitely one of them. It’s just not for me.

No Tottenham player performed as poorly as black walnut ice cream tastes.

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William “BIG WILLY LANKS” Lankshear