Sweet Bobby: The Shocking True Story Behind Netflix’s New Documentary

17 Oct 2024

When Alexi Mostrous introduced his Sweet Bobby podcast for Tortoise Media in 2021, it quickly sparked a wave of bewilderment. People were left asking: Who exactly is Bobby? What drives him? What would motivate someone to behave this way, and how is it not illegal?

Sweet Bobby - Figure 1 — Photo Country and Town House

Before we dive into those questions, let's go over some essentials first. If you weren't among the thousands frantically tuning in to Tortoise Media’s podcast feed as each episode of Sweet Bobby was released, and if your friends haven’t managed to persuade you to check out this critically acclaimed series yet, here's a brief overview. Sweet Bobby is an investigative podcast that follows the story of Kirat Assi, a woman from London who works as a successful marketer and local radio host. The tale begins in 2009 when Kirat received a friend request on Facebook from a man named Bobby. Little did she know that clicking 'accept' would set off a chain of events that would profoundly impact her life for the next fifteen years.

We definitely suggest giving it a listen, but if documentaries are more your style, Netflix has adapted the podcast into a documentary series, created in collaboration with the Tortoise team. Here's what you can look forward to, along with the true story that inspired this impressive production.

The Real Story Of Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Horror

Starting in 2009, the Sweet Bobby case stands out as one of the most complex instances of catfishing in the UK. As noted in the opening of a Netflix documentary, it’s an extraordinary tale that revolves around Kirat Assi, a Sikh woman from Britain. Kirat works in marketing, is a well-known local radio host, and lives in West London with her family and friends around her. At this time, Facebook is extremely popular, and Kirat is engaged on social media, connecting with a number of online acquaintances. The platform is especially useful for maintaining connections with relatives abroad, so when Kirat receives a friend request from someone named Bobby, she doesn’t think twice about it. Bobby claims to be a distant relative, and the name rings a bell for her. They share mutual friends, including her cousin Simran, who has previously met Bobby in New York and dated his brother JJ. So, Kirat accepts the request, unwittingly setting off a ten-year saga of deceit.

Sweet Bobby - Figure 2 — Photo Country and Town House

Kirat and Bobby start off as friends sharing conversations online, and as they continue to talk, their bond grows stronger. Bobby's life is quite tumultuous, filled with drama and challenges, which keeps Kirat engaged with his messages, texts, and phone calls. She grows closer to him, especially when he opens up about his personal struggles, such as a heart condition. By 2015, Kirat finds herself depending on their daily exchanges for emotional support while becoming more involved in his life, ultimately leading to a romantic relationship between them. Even though they have never met face-to-face, Kirat feels a deep emotional connection to Bobby.

However, things aren’t quite what they appear to be. Bobby's life is nothing short of dramatic. During the time Kirat gets to know him, he experiences a stroke, is shot six times in Kenya, enters witness protection in New York, has a heart attack, learns he has a brain tumor, and even has a child he keeps secret. Kirat often wonders, "How can one person experience so much misfortune?" Since Kirat and Bobby share the same social circles, there's always someone who can confirm his astonishing tales, including her cousin Simran. Yet, each time Kirat tries to arrange a meeting, something seems to get in the way.

As their relationship develops, Bobby's behavior becomes more controlling. He suspects Kirat of flirting with other men and tries to isolate her from her friends and family. The stress takes a toll on Kirat, causing her physical pain and leading her to take time off work. "I began to lose weight," she shares in the Netflix documentary. "It was a form of coercive control that escalated to a level of abuse, leaving me without a sense of who I was. I was constantly in fear."

In the end, she employed a private investigator, who approached the actual Bobby at his family's house in Brighton. Was Kirat involved with him? To make matters worse, Bobby had no clue who she was.

Sweet Bobby - Figure 3 — Photo Country and Town House

Who Catfished Kirat In "Sweet Bobby"?

Kirat’s cousin Simran was the mastermind behind Kirat’s online connection with Bobby. For ten years, Simran crafted about 60 fake Facebook accounts to support Bobby's outrageous tales and kept Kirat convinced that she was in a genuine relationship.

In 2018, Simran showed up at Kirat's home and revealed the truth about her situation. After that, Simran carried on with her life, maintaining her successful career and even getting engaged. Meanwhile, Kirat was left to cope with the shock, struggling to come to terms with the fact that their nearly ten-year relationship was completely built on lies. In her quest for justice, Kirat decided to reach out to the police...

Is Catfishing Considered A Crime?

No, catfishing isn't considered a crime in the UK, and this raises some complex issues that are central to the story of Sweet Bobby. Kirat found herself deceived, manipulated, and pressured for nearly ten years, all while thinking she was in a genuine online relationship with a cardiologist named Dr. Bobby Jandu. However, this was all a facade created by her cousin, Simran. Catfishing—where someone creates a false online identity to mislead another person into believing they're in a real relationship—isn't against the law. Similarly, demonstrating that a psychological crime has taken place, particularly one that doesn't involve any physical harm, is quite challenging.

In the UK, Simran hasn't committed any legal offenses. However, she has violated many social norms, including catfishing, manipulation, and deceit—especially considering she did this to her own cousin. Despite Kirat reporting Simran to the police back in 2018, no legal action has been taken against her. Kirat hopes that the documentary will inspire other victims to come forward. "We've all been going through this quietly," she states.

What Is Simran Saying?

Not much. Simran declined to participate in the Tortoise Media podcast and opted out of the Netflix documentary as well. Her team informed the producers that the issue dates back to her time in school. Simran regards it as a personal matter and firmly opposes what she calls "many unfounded and harmful allegations."

Kirat hasn't laid eyes on Simran since the person who deceived her came clean about their actions from 2018.

Where To Watch Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare?

Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is currently available to stream only on Netflix.

Where To Listen To The Sweet Bobby Podcast?

Sweet Bobby, created by Tortoise Media, can be found on all major podcast platforms, such as Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Visit tortoisemedia.com for more information.