It hurts. Of course, it hurts. But one game should not define Middlesbrough's season and therefore they must quickly move on from their defeat to Sunderland.
As Michael Carrick noted after, that means not dwelling on it too much, but equally it doesn't, from the players' and coaches' point of view, mean completely forgetting about it either. In any game - and particularly in defeat - there is always something to be learned, and that's what Carrick's side must do.
So much of the pre-match talk ahead of the derby surrounded handling the occasion. That feels key to the manner of the performance we did ultimately see. While we can, have and will continue to debate the big decisions in the game - notably Dael Fry's red card and the penalty - it doesn't take away from the fact that Boro were well below their usual standards in the game.
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Carrick acknowledged that fact post-match, but also provided some reflection as he noted his side had set such high standards in recent months and that, such is football, they can't always be at their best. Even the very best have off days. That's the very human element of the game that makes it more interesting.
Boro certainly had an off day at the Stadium of Light, and it was only really in a 20-minute or so spell after going down to 10 men that they played the game in anywhere close to the manner we've seen them under Carrick so far. The way they look to control games and dictate the tempo ultimately only came in that period after Fry's dismissal.
Ultimately, that came down to not handling the occasion as well as the home side. Sunderland ultimately channelled the energy of their home support and played at an intensity that Boro, for much of the first half not only struggled to contain, but actually helped it too.
Sunderland were always going to fly out of the blocks. When in that kind of mood the Stadium of Light can be Sunderland's biggest asset, just like the Riverside can be Boro's. Players feed off the energy and you saw that with Sunderland on Sunday. What Boro had to try and do was manage that, cause frustration and ultimately flatten it to create an even playing field.
In a nervy and edgy start to the game, rather than do any of the above, Boro fuelled the encouragement from the terraces. The clock hadn't even hit nine minutes when Zack Steffen played the ball straight to the feet of Amad Diallo, thus gifting him a glorious opportunity. He didn't take it, but it certainly buoyed both the Sunderland fans and the players.
Steffen wasn't the only guilty party early on though. Boro's usually composed midfield two lacked their usual composure in possession, while their defence lacked their usual comfort as Amad, Ross Stewart and Patrick Roberts in particular, caused all sorts of problems.
Having said all of that, Boro did just about manage to make it to the break with the scoreline still goalless. As the half wore on, there was more of the kind of slowing down the tempo to get to grips with the game they needed. With Carrick impacting many previous games with half-time tactical tweaks, it was set up for Boro to come out, make huge improvements and take something from the game.
That's ultimately ifs, buts and maybes, though. We'll never really know whether that would have transpired because the complexion of the game was changed with that early second-half red card and penalty. Carrick wasn't happy with the decision after, and plenty of debate has ensued since. The fact is though, Fry gave the officials a decision to make by allowing Stewart to get the wrong side of him. Control the things you can control.
Given how Boro took a foothold in the game with ten men after the goal, you do feel that maybe, with 11 men still on the pitch and the scoreline still 0-0, it might have been a different outcome. The fact is though, it wasn't. Boro lost a game their performance ultimately warranted.
But we shouldn't be too concerned or overly critical. They've set such high standards and off-days can happen. You naturally feel them more when the standards have been set so high, and then that's multiplied further because of who the opposition were, and what the occasion was.
The important thing now is looking ahead and learning from it, because Boro remain in the top six despite the defeat, and have a really tough game next against third-placed Watford at the Riverside. This shouldn't be allowed to manifest into a turning point in the season.
In terms of the occasion, the positive is that is a rather unique one. Boro won't play too many teams this season buoyed to play at such an intensity because of the atmosphere inside the ground. That's a positive because, under Carrick, they have been able to control and be positive in standard games more often than not.
But there are lessons to learn to carry forward for future games that might be akin to this one, with Boro's management of such occasions needing to be better. Next month they'll visit Bramall Lane, and that's probably the closest they'll come to a side who also use their home supporters to such an advantage like that. Looking beyond that, if Boro can make it, wherever they travel for the away leg of a play-off semi-final will surely have a similar feel to it also. Potentially key games in the season, Boro have to learn the lessons of this defeat.
Of course this one hurts, but it's gone now and there's nothing that can be done to alter the course of history. Instead, Boro must grow from it. You can be sure that will be the reaction of an always calm and clear-headed Carrick.
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