Cast Away review – Phillip Schofield is an incredibly bitter man (but he sure knows how to entertain)

It's tough to recall a show that has generated such excitement as Cast Away. With a strategic release of information in the media, the show has teased the intriguing possibility of the recently canceled Phillip Schofield embracing a dramatic transformation reminiscent of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? while stranded on a deserted island.

If you buy into the buzz, you might expect that the three-part special featuring Schofield, where he spends ten days stranded on a deserted island, would be all about him airing grievances and taking down others since he has little left to lose. While that could still happen—there are moments in the trailer where a disheveled Schofield claims he’s been ‘thrown under a bus’—the first episode surprisingly feels like it consists of two entirely different stories.

You might remember that the last time we heard about Schofield was following his exit from This Morning, which was due to his involvement in an affair with a program runner. As a result, he lost his job, and This Morning nearly faced the same fate. In addition, ITV had to deal with a parliamentary investigation regarding how they care for their employees. In several interviews shortly after the scandal broke, Schofield appeared to be completely on edge. This all happened a little over a year ago.

And now he stands at a crucial point, either laying the groundwork for a potential return to television or signaling the undeniable end of his career. To be honest, it’s difficult to predict how this will ultimately turn out.

Regardless of your opinion about the guy, you have to acknowledge that the moments when he truly engages with the concept of the show—sitting on a sun-baked island, trying to film himself while he prepares limpets for food—are quite entertaining. With decades of experience on television, Schofield knows how to convey what he’s doing effectively. Therefore, the scenes where he’s actually trying to survive, whether it’s looking for water or chasing crabs in the woods, are particularly engaging. He’s open, humorous, and modest about his lack of survival skills. During these parts, it almost feels like nothing else matters.

Nonetheless (and this is a significant point), the man simply cannot restrain himself. Surviving alone in the wilderness is one challenge, but doing so while displaying the attitude of the most resentful person imaginable is something entirely different. And let's be clear, Schofield is extremely resentful. Even before he steps out of his front door, he's drawing comparisons between Cast Away and I'm a Celebrity, grumbling that he would never take part in that show because "there are certain channels and people you just won't work with."

Even his last meal with his family turns uncomfortable, as he sarcastically asks his daughter, "Are you alright?" echoing the insincere concern that Holly Willoughby showed the This Morning audience after the controversy. Throughout the meal, he keeps bringing up that some people might prefer he had never left the island at all, or even that he had died there, reflecting the immense extent of his exaggerated sense of victimhood.

It's clear that much of this stems from how the episodes have been put together. A significant portion of Schofield's complaints is revealed during a pre-interview, which has been edited and scattered throughout the hour, creating the impression that he's constantly fixated on his career situation.

Even on the island, where he appears to be more focused on the job he has to do, he still experiences moments of awkward self-aggrandizing. In one video diary, he emotionally recalls an incident when a large, tattooed man embraced him while saying, “They’re all jerks, mate.” It's moments like these that truly raise concerns that Schofield might perceive himself as a folk hero, instead of just a guy who lost his job due to an inappropriate relationship at work.

He also succumbs to the typical plight of those who have been “canceled.” “Being canceled means you’re finished,” he says, which might be a meaningful statement if – let’s all take note – he weren’t voicing this during a popular live show on a mainstream British TV network. A hint of self-awareness about his circumstances would really help his case.

As a result, it feels like Phillip Schofield has turned into his own biggest obstacle. When the show focuses on actual survival, it’s nearly excellent. However, when it mainly serves as a platform for Schofield to dwell on his career struggles – which happens quite often – it leads to a loss of respect for him.

It's important to note that Channel 5 is trying to make you think that the most significant events—like the intense moments where Schofield damages his reputation—are found in the two upcoming episodes. However, let's be real—who has the time to wait for that? Unfortunately, the reality is that many people are far less interested in Phillip Schofield's career than he would hope.

Cast Away was broadcast on Channel 5.