I have no family left - Paddington in Peru is a bittersweet reminder of that
Going to the movies is something that runs deep in my family. I've always recognized this, but only recently have I understood just how significant it truly is. Since my mother passed away last Christmas 2022, I have navigated a challenging journey through grief, finding comfort in the cinema week after week. When the time came to remember my father's (ninth) anniversary of his death earlier this year, I reflected on what would have brought him joy and decided to honor that. So, I treated myself to a nice lunch with a glass of red wine and, of course, went to see a film.
I watched Steve McQueen’s Blitz last week, and it made me think of my dad, who grew up as the child of a single mother and was evacuated from London during World War II. However, nothing can compare to the deep emotional impact of Paddington in Peru, the latest movie in the series featuring the beloved bear, which comes out this week. I'm really looking forward to it, but I also feel a bit anxious about it.
Before we dive into the marmalade sandwiches, I should share a bit of important background. Aside from one grandmother who passed away when I was seven, I have never had any grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or siblings. In fact, my family is the smallest I know of, which has made the connection between my parents and me especially deep. They were married for 16 years before they finally welcomed me into their lives. Since both of them had a passion for cinema passed down from their own parents, it was only natural for me to share in that love as well.
Whenever my grandmother had the extra money, which wasn’t always the case, my dad attended the Saturday morning kids' movie club. This experience sparked his lifelong love for films, a passion that remained with him even as he was nearing the end of his life. While he was weak and fading in Whipps Cross A&E during the early hours of a Saturday, Dad, who loved reading the arts sections of newspapers, asked me to read him a review of the week’s major new release: the Martin Luther King film, *Selma*, featuring David Oyelowo. Just four days later, my mum and I went to collect Dad’s death certificate, and then we headed straight to the local cinema to watch that film.
My grandmother, my mother’s mother and the only grandparent I had, worked at the jewelry counter in Woolworth's and had every Wednesday afternoon off. During my mother’s school breaks, she and her mother would treat themselves to a weekly trip to the movies. This cherished memory stayed with my mother throughout her life, along with her love for film adaptations of popular Broadway musicals. I remember leaving the crematorium after her funeral to the music of "Shall We Dance?" from The King and I. In the early days of my parents’ marriage, when money was tight, their special treat was a fish and chips dinner followed by a night at the cinema.
When I began my unusual nighttime routine as a theatre critic (film critics usually have to watch movies early in the morning in small screening rooms without popcorn, which didn’t seem very enjoyable to me), I started accompanying my parents on their frequent trips to the movies during the week. They had a remarkably diverse taste in films, and it was always pleasantly surprising to see what they'd choose (I missed out on their outing to see The Inbetweeners 2).
Dad always enjoyed a scoop of Ben and Jerry’s Caramel Chew Chew ice cream while watching movies, and sometimes our visits would align with the screenings at the over-60s club. This meant they got free tea and biscuits, while I didn’t, which felt like a clear case of age bias. Most of the time, we shared similar views on what we had watched, but there were moments when our opinions differed. I quickly realized that if a film featured Judi Dench or Maggie Smith—or ideally both, as in Tea with Mussolini and Ladies in Lavender—then it was sure to be a good time.
Aside from the exception of Wallace and Gromit, animated movies were never really my parents' top pick. However, they couldn't overlook the wave of rave reviews that the first Paddington film received. So, on the afternoon of December 1, 2014—just three days after its premiere—we all went to the Odeon Lee Valley. I can still vividly picture us standing in the foyer afterward, chatting with my dad. I told him that if I didn’t have to go to the theater later that night (I was off to see Barney Norris’s Visitors at the Bush, if you’re curious), I would buy another ticket and catch the next show. “I would too,” my dad replied warmly, and my mom nodded in agreement.
Life has a way of mixing happiness with sorrow. We had no idea on that day, as we stood together, that it would be our final trip to the movies as a trio. Just two months later, my dad passed away unexpectedly.
What was it that we found so appealing about the little bear’s debut on the big screen? It was definitely the warmth, kindness, and humor that filled the movie, along with Ben Whishaw’s delightful and perfectly tuned voice performance as Paddington. The special connection between Paddington, an orphaned bear, and his loving adoptive parents, Aunt Lucy and Uncle Pastuzo, also stood out. We were charmed by the fantastic lineup of well-known British actors like Hugh Bonneville, Julie Walters, and Jim Broadbent. The film's bright and lively color scheme brought a lot of joy, not to mention the iconic image of marmalade sandwiches tucked under a hat. There’s so much more to say, but we all agreed to purchase the DVD as soon as it was released so we could relive the experience.
Since Dad had passed away by the time the DVD was released, Mum and I felt a bit nervous about the idea of watching something that had unexpectedly taken on such a heavy emotional significance. For months, it sat untouched in its shiny plastic wrap on the living room shelf. Finally, we found the strength to give it a go, and once again, we were swept away by the film. This time, however, the joy of the story was mingled with deeper feelings of loss. We went through the same experience again when Paddington 2 came out in 2017.
As I write this, I have the DVDs of Paddington and Paddington 2 positioned on my desk. This fall has been filled with cinema outings, especially in October, when I saw eight films! However, even though I’m excited about embarking on another journey with the lovable little bear, I can’t help but feel anxious. My family has always been small, and during Paddington’s time in theaters, I lost both of my relatives.
I'll definitely go see it, especially on a day when I'm feeling strong. As Paddington journeys to locate Aunt Lucy at the Retirement Home for Bears, I'll take a moment to reflect on my own parents in their own heavenly version of that place.
‘Paddington in Peru’ is currently showing in theaters.
