Disgusting, isn’t it? John Lewis’s shocking Christmas advert is actually about … shopping

This is absolutely unacceptable. There are certain things that should remain untouched. Sunday roasts, the national anthem, and the John Lewis Christmas commercial, to name a few.

The John Lewis Christmas advert has been following a tried-and-true formula for years. Each November, we get to enjoy a beautifully crafted short film that includes familiar elements that have become tradition. The ad needs to capture the holiday spirit, feature a slowed-down piano rendition of a classic pop song, and evoke a deep sense of sadness. This could be portrayed through a story about an elderly man experiencing deep loneliness on the moon (like in 2015) or a Christmas tree that is put outside for being too spirited (as seen in 2023).

However, the key takeaway here—above all else—is that it shouldn't center around John Lewis. The essence of a John Lewis Christmas advertisement is that when people view it in isolation and are later questioned about what it's promoting, their response should ideally be something like "end-of-life care" or "a charity focused on childhood trauma." The goal of a John Lewis Christmas ad is for someone from another country to watch the entire thing and still be completely unaware of who John Lewis is or why he's intent on eliciting tears from folks in Surrey.

But let's put that aside for this year. This time around, John Lewis has completely disregarded tradition. They have made the bold choice to feature their Christmas advertisement filmed right inside an actual John Lewis store. Honestly, this feels like a major misstep.

This year's John Lewis advertisement features a storyline in which a woman visits the large John Lewis store on Oxford Street to shop for a gift for her sister. As she browses, she suddenly slips into a charming flashback reminiscent of Narnia, where she reflects on various significant moments in her sister's life to help her decide on the perfect present. Interestingly, each of these nostalgic scenes conveniently relates to a different department in John Lewis. There's a memory associated with jewelry, another linked to furniture, and a touching reunion between the sisters after a time apart, which turns out to be connected to scarves.

Isn't it revolting? John Lewis appears to think that the goal of a TV ad is simply to announce, "Hey, we’re a store. You can purchase items here." But I can't emphasize this enough – that's not the case at all. The purpose of a television commercial, as John Lewis has demonstrated before, is to be stylish and conceptual, aiming to inspire the most pretentious users on social media to share exaggerated posts about how emotional the ad made them feel. This is common knowledge.

But wait a minute. It seems that John Lewis has decided it needs to emphasize that it’s an actual business with employees, stores, and inventory. What kind of strange logic is this?

I also have to express my concerns about the music this year. The track used for the John Lewis Christmas ad is "Sonnet" by The Verve. It's not a slowed-down remix or a rendition performed on a child's toy piano by a frail, Victorian-style girl, which has been the trend in past ads. Instead, it’s simply "Sonnet" as it is, almost like someone at John Lewis just recorded it straight from the radio. What’s the purpose of that?

Honestly, it’s probably a good thing that fewer people are watching TV these days. This means that most will only encounter this as a skippable ad on YouTube, which honestly spares John Lewis from a lot of awkwardness. A holiday advertisement focused on sales? One that not only displays the products they offer but also gives a glimpse of their store interiors? That's unlikely to become popular anytime soon.

I'm putting in a lot of effort to make this situation work. Perhaps the woman in the store isn't even considering her sister. It's possible she stumbled and knocked her head against a clothes rack, and what we're witnessing is her life racing through her mind as she gradually loses consciousness. That sounds better, doesn’t it? It feels more in line with a touching John Lewis moment.

I’m worried that’s not the case. At its core, it’s simply an advertisement featuring a woman shopping. Let’s chalk this one up as a mistake, shall we? Next year, I’d appreciate a more classic approach. How about an ad with a boy who has a broken leg, or a dog that was hit by a car, or a personified version of grief? You know, like they used to do. After all, Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas until a store brings us down a little.