The worst thing about I'm A Celeb? The other celebrities! With brutal honesty, JENNY ECLAIR reveals...

On a Saturday morning in November 2010, I found myself in the bath, tears streaming down my face because I had just lost my friend Angie. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was my agent Richard, calling on a weekend, which was unusual.

"Have you checked if your passport is current?" he inquired.

"They've extended an invitation for you to join I'm A Celebrity. You have half an hour to decide, as the flight to Brisbane is scheduled to depart tomorrow night."

Upon stepping into the jungle, Jenny Eclair portrayed herself as a short, chubby, and somewhat out of shape 50-year-old who even kept her glasses on while showering.

Jenny, positioned on the far left, participated in a Bushtucker challenge alongside fellow team members Shaun Ryder, Stacey Solomon, Kayla Collins, and Dom Joly, who are lined up from left to right.

Back then, I found it too hard to confront my own situation – I had just lost a friend, my latest tour didn’t go well, and my career was at a standstill – so I thought it would be better to escape. The thought of being 35,000 feet in the air, wrapped in the comfort of business class, became really enticing. I agreed to go.

The offer I received ended up being only about a third of what Sheryl Gascoigne, the ex-wife of footballer Paul Gascoigne and one of the most well-known participants that year, was getting. Payment was based on your level of fame, and since I wasn't as well-known, my paycheck reflected that.

Shaun Ryder, the ex-lead vocalist of Happy Mondays, referred to Jenny as a 'geezer bird' and expressed his admiration for her northern background.

Ex-MP Lembit Öpik has been described by Jenny Eclair as a ‘foolish person’ who lacks depth and has no charm.

Honestly, I think I would have fared much better if I had experienced a chaotic divorce, battled personal issues with alcohol and drugs, or even just rocked a bikini. The reality is that I was a short, curvy 50-year-old who wore her glasses even while showering.

I wasn't even sure I would get a spot on the show, which had already begun. They were bringing me in as a backup option.

The weather was bleak, and people were starting to complain, so the production team anticipated a lot of people leaving. If I decided to show up, I would be arriving late, which typically isn’t the best way to begin.

Upon my arrival in Brisbane, a friendly boy with curly hair greeted me. He had been assigned the task of taking care of me.

I was exhausted from the flight and had a hard time keeping my eyes open during dinner at the hotel. They advised me to stay in my room, keep a low profile, and just order room service while they figured things out regarding my situation. I spent the time reading and watching TV, questioning if I had made a foolish choice by agreeing to this.

Jenny faced a bushtucker trial filled with insects, a challenge that Gillian McKeith had previously struggled with earlier in the series.

The following day, just when I was about to lose it from feeling homesick and bored, things started to pick up. I was taken to a different hotel, treated to a delicious lunch, and told that I would be heading into the jungle. Cleverly, I snagged a bread roll to keep for later.

After putting on my jungle outfit, I really felt ready for adventure. Joining me as a fellow latecomer was Dom Joly, the comedian famous for his oversized mobile phone and the Channel 4 prank show, Trigger Happy TV. We’ve remained friends ever since.

We were flown in by helicopter to a remote jungle (my first time experiencing this - it was amazing). After that, we had to paddle a canoe to a small island where our task was to earn stars for our camp by spending the night in a hut filled with snakes. As I settled into my sleeping bag, munching on a bread roll I had secretly brought along, I started to question what I had gotten myself into.

The comedian enthusiastically participating in a challenge by munching on an insect.

The following day, still in the same underwear from the day before, Dom and I were flown in by helicopter to a clearing not too far from the camp. Actor Nigel Havers and Shaun Ryder, the former lead singer of the Happy Mondays, had been sent to greet us.

By the time we made our way down to the camp, struggling to engage in awkward conversation, I was hit with a severe migraine. I rarely experience migraines, but when I do, I need to lie in a dark room and often end up being sick. So, I spent my first night at camp feeling miserable, repeatedly being sick.

My fellow campers stayed away from me, and I braced myself for getting cut from the group early on.

My cot was located at the far side of the camp. From where I was, I could observe and listen to everyone around me.

My nearest companions during the show were Sheryl Gascoigne, who was the highest paid and the first to leave. She was adorable and so attractive that I couldn’t help but stare at her. Then there was Shaun, who wasn’t as good-looking and already had numerous insect bites on his skin. He referred to me as "geezer bird" and mentioned that he admired my northern background. He seemed to believe that I was strong, which I’m not, but I wasn’t naive, overly simple, tedious in conversation, or just plain strange like some of the other contestants.

That being said, not everyone was unpleasant. I grew quite fond of Britt Ekland; I had previously met her when she appeared on my LBC show, where she shared her experiences about her former husband, Peter Sellers, and his harsh treatment.

She shared a tale about how he gifted her a watch, but when she didn’t wear the clothes he preferred, he snatched it off her wrist and smashed it on the ground. I had a fondness for Nigel, too. At 59, he was charming and sophisticated—exactly the way you’d hope he would be.

Gillian McKeith, often referred to as the "poo doctor," was known for her complaining demeanor and lack of excitement. She frequently pretended to faint, especially during challenges she was asked to participate in.

He strongly protested when we were subjected to electric shocks if camp members didn't succeed in a certain challenge, and then he decided to withdraw from the competition. I felt his absence once he left. He brought a sense of order and decency to our group.

Some people really got on my nerves. Lembit Opik, a former Member of Parliament, was quite absurd: he had stashed away rolls of toilet paper for fear that people might be wasteful with it. He even used that exact term. At that time, he was in a relationship with a 21-year-old named Merily McGivern.

Eventually, my husband Geof revealed that after his elimination, Lembit and his much younger girlfriend, who was over 20 years his junior, frequently gathered at the hotel pool, putting on a show of affection for the media. Ugh. He’s not very bright and lacks any charm whatsoever.

Gillian McKeith was just as ridiculous, known for her role as a television "poo doctor." She was constantly complaining and had a dull personality, often "fainting," especially when faced with challenges. Naturally, this meant viewers continued to vote for her. I made an effort to steer clear of her and felt relieved when she was eliminated. It’s quite disturbing to think she allegedly sneaked in herbs and spices hidden in her clothing.

There were some other campers I can hardly remember—a rapper who vanished without a word, and Olympic athlete Linford Christie, who wasn’t fond of cold water. He was a decent guy with strong legs.

We also had a swimsuit model with us, a lively American blonde named Kayla Collins. She had previously spent time at Hugh Hefner’s luxurious Playboy Bunny home in Chicago. One day, we took on a challenge that involved getting splashed with horse manure. Recently, I looked Kayla up and found her Instagram. It turns out she’s now a brunette and a mother of five. I genuinely hope she’s doing well.

Alison Hammond, known for her time on Channel 4’s Big Brother, joined the group quite late. She arrived in a large crate, and I found myself wishing it might hold a kangaroo or something exciting to shake things up. To my surprise, Alison popped out, full of energy and eager to have a good time. I really liked her, but by that point, we had all settled into our routines and didn’t have the enthusiasm for meeting someone new.

Stacey Solomon, who gained fame from ITV's The X Factor, was truly unique. She greeted each day with a smile and was full of energy for everything she did. We had one disagreement when she claimed that reading books was pointless. When I attempted to share my perspective on why it mattered, I felt like I was years older than I actually am.

Former Olympic champion Linford Christie was a decent guy with strong legs, but he wasn't fond of cold water.

American swimwear model Kayla Collins participated in a challenge with Jenny that involved being submerged in horse manure. Currently, she is a brunette and a mother of five.

She’s a kind and generous person, and I’m not at all shocked by how well she’s doing. Since the show aired, Alison and Stacey have really outperformed everyone else. Could it be that being genuinely nice pays off? Well, it seems like it’s a bit too late for me to give that a shot.

Many viewers of I'm A Celebrity don't realize that the challenges are often located quite far away, requiring contestants to trek several miles just to reach them.

As you make your way through, you come across a sort of graveyard filled with remnants of past obstacles. The area is scattered with fragments of old wooden frameworks and clearings packed with abandoned equipment. It's not just the UK version that utilizes this location; it's a shared space for all the international editions of I'm A Celebrity.

Alison Hammond, a previous contestant on Big Brother, arrived at the last minute. “She showed up in a crate,” Jenny recalls. “I was really hoping there would be something exciting inside, like a kangaroo, just to break the monotony.”

It's worth noting that the stone walls around the camp aren't real. They're actually made of polystyrene and conceal a path for the camera crew. Occasionally, if I positioned myself just right, I could hear guys behind the fake walls crunching on snacks.

As expected, Stacey emerged victorious in the 2010 season of I’m A Celebrity by a wide margin. Shaun took second place, while I ended up in third, which frustrated Dom, who finished in fourth.

In the last challenge, I couldn't bring myself to eat an eyeball and as a result, I was sent home. Everyone has their breaking point.

I was truly relieved when my time was over. I felt my mental state beginning to falter.

Geof met me on the somewhat weathered rope bridge for that whole reunion thing, and we embraced a bit awkwardly.

I was really happy to see him, but I was eager for some alone time so I could start venting.

Once I was settled in our suite, I took three showers one after another. By the time I finished, I felt bad for the poor soul who would have to scrub the ring left around the edge. I tried to clean it up a bit, but it really required some scouring powder.

Regarding the Palazzo Versace Hotel on Queensland's Gold Coast, where we stayed, I hate to burst anyone's bubble about glamorous accommodations, but honestly, it felt rather stuck in the 1990s. The furniture was quite unfortunate, and the hallways were lined with framed black and white fashion photos that seemed to repeat endlessly.

Stacey Solomon, known for her kind and cheerful nature, easily triumphed in the 2010 edition of I’m A Celebrity, taking first place by a wide margin. Shaun Ryder finished in second place, while Jenny secured third; this result frustrated Dom Joly, who ended up in fourth.

Nonetheless, Geof and I were upgraded to first class for our flight home, which was fantastic—an experience I haven't had since.

In the center of the airplane, there was a fantastic bar where passengers could grab a drink. It was truly amazing. All expenses were covered, and I felt like that flight could last indefinitely. However, we eventually touched down in the snowy weather at Heathrow.

My agent was overjoyed with my performance. I believe he might have teared up; he tends to do that whenever I exceed his expectations and catch him off guard.

Additionally, I discovered that the jungle diet was effective, and by Christmas, I was able to fit into a small, colorful vintage dress. I'd shed over a stone in weight, primarily from all the hiking I did in the jungle.

Reflecting on the past, Geof and I were quite amazed by my success. We couldn’t fathom who supported me in the voting process, especially since my family doesn’t participate in phone voting.

We were just as shocked when I returned home and found a group of elementary school boys crowding around me in the grocery store, requesting my signature. Apparently, they found me to be both amusing and courageous.

Usually, I found myself with a group of young fans who were much too little to purchase tickets to my performances or even buy me a drink.

Rewritten from "Jokes, Jokes, Jokes" by Jenny Eclair (Sphere, £25). © Jenny Eclair 2024. To purchase a copy for £22.50 (promotion available until 23/11/24; enjoy free UK shipping on orders over £25) visit mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.