Not even Freddie Flintoff can hit the target with a Bullseye game-show reboot
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There's something unique about classic TV game shows that modern versions just don't capture. The dazed contestants, the not-so-great prizes, and the sometimes questionable hosts all contribute to a certain charm. Perhaps "unique" isn't the best term; maybe "quirkiness" is more fitting.
However, there's a certain nostalgic charm to that mediocrity, which characterized a period of British television that has faded away. Yet, that doesn't prevent us from attempting to resurrect those times and force that familiarity into the present with a lifeless remake that completely overlooks the essence of the original.
The most recent British classic to undergo a makeover is the iconic 1980s show Bullseye. It’s set to be revamped for today's viewers with a Christmas special, featuring Freddie Flintoff as the new host, taking over from the late Jim Bowen. This will mark Flintoff's return to a major presenting role after he suffered serious injuries in a car accident during the filming of Top Gear in 2022.
If you haven't watched the original Bullseye, then first off, props to you for not being around for a century! Make the most of those youthful joints while you can.
Moreover, it's important to mention that the program was a quiz show featuring participants who engaged in various games centered around darts (yes, they even played real darts) to earn bizarre and impractical prizes. The setting was designed to evoke the ambiance of a traditional working-class English pub.
The backdrop was an unusual color reminiscent of yellowed wallpaper from chain-smoked cigarettes. The participants appeared tense and lackluster, creating an atmosphere that felt akin to a gloomy afternoon at your neighborhood pub. If that sounds unappealing, you probably don’t belong to the intended audience. However, during the Eighties and Nineties, this was about as close as the English got to a shared cultural experience.
When I was young, my dad often brought me to that type of pub. Back then, smoking indoors was still allowed, and there weren't any iPads or coloring books to entertain kids, so they weren't the most family-oriented places. Nonetheless, I cherish the memories of sitting there, listening to my relatives growing increasingly tipsy while discussing topics I didn't quite grasp. Meanwhile, I would try to get the pub's sole arcade machine—a faulty Space Invaders game—to function, but it never worked.
The atmosphere Bullseye aimed for was clear, but when you remove all the flair, what are you really left with? A program centered around darts – arguably one of the most unexciting games ever created to amuse people in pubs. You might have better success broadcasting a show about slot machines or anxiously shredding a beer mat.
The problem is that those kinds of pubs are mostly gone now. The influence of American culture in the UK has even reached our once-cherished local pubs, turning them into a wide array of bars and gastropubs. Imagining a game show taking place in a traditional English pub in 2024 feels as out of place as hosting one in a medieval dungeon. It’s interesting and unique, but not something most people can connect with.
They should definitely challenge the norm and fully accept this modern era. Picture the new Bullseye taking place in a craft brewery, with contestants seated on quirky stools at a bar offering only IPAs and mocktails. Imagine Bully sporting a man bun and wearing hemp cargo pants—though it’s likely we can’t call him “Bully” anymore, as I’ve heard that term might be considered a form of microaggression.
If they're not careful, they could face one of two outcomes: either, similar to our favorite local pubs, the show ends up with a polished, superficial look that completely misses the essence of the original, reducing it to "just another mediocre British game show." Or, in an attempt to recapture that nostalgic Eighties charm by embracing the vintage style, it risks becoming a self-parody.
Right now, it's only a single episode, so I can imagine they might attempt to make it part of a series. However, if it does get picked up for a full season, it will probably just fade into the sea of mediocre TV we have now. It's disappointing because we used to excel in creating great game shows in this country, but everything changed with the arrival of Bradley Walsh and Stephen Mulhern, who seem to have negatively impacted the scene.
I might end up being mistaken about this. Flintoff has a natural charm, and if they approach this reboot with the goal of making it unique, they could truly hit it out of the park. Or something along those lines.
