Opinion: I recently graduated. Here’s why I refuse to give up my life for a job

Note from the editor: Jane Bernhard used to work in the entertainment industry and has since earned her MBA from Columbia Business School. She is creating a podcast called "Your Career, Unscripted," which will officially launch on July 15th. On the podcast, Jane will have conversations with successful executives and recent graduates about their unique career paths and personal values. You can keep up with Jane on LinkedIn and sign up for her newsletter here. Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are Jane's own. To read more of CNN's opinion pieces, visit their website.

As new graduates get ready to kick-start their careers, some may find themselves in a dilemma: sacrifice quality time with loved ones to climb the career ladder. As someone who has treaded that path before and suffered the consequences, I urge others not to sideline the most valuable aspect of life: people you treasure the most.

Since I can remember, I've had a strong desire and imagination. I finished my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Musical Theater, and from there, I focused on theater and TV acting during my twenties. My profession was everything to me, and it consumed my life. I worked endlessly, spending a lot of time rehearsing, relocating to new states frequently, and performing eight times every week. I made sure to use any break I had to create audition tapes, often spending all night memorizing large scripts of over 40 pages.

My personal life suffered greatly as I pursued career opportunities. I had to skip important events like funerals, vacations, and classes as I was advised to always be available for last-minute auditions. This caused immense pressure on me and I can't recall much from those auditions now. But I do feel a sense of guilt for missing out on time with my friends.

When Covid emerged, it caused a halt in productions all over the globe. This compelled me to take a break and reflect on my life's direction for the first time. Did I have a fear of giving up something I had devoted myself to for more than ten years? After some thought, I realized that the most fulfilling moments in my life were those I spent with my loved ones, rather than being in the spotlight on stage or screen.

This resulted in a total shift in course, going towards a profession that would provide me with greater flexibility to be with my loved ones - or at least, that's what I believed.

When I got to Columbia Business School to start my MBA journey, my primary goal was to establish myself in the fields of technology, entertainment strategy or marketing. These areas not only allowed me to utilize my creativity, but also provided me with financial stability. Moreover, I wanted a career that would enable me to balance work with personal relationships and relaxation time.

I started to think about getting a standard MBA and becoming a consultant due to the instability in the market for my preferred industries. I believed that consulting would provide me with a decent income and teach me valuable skills. The other option that interested me was working for tech startups because they were hiring despite the economic downturn which made larger companies cut back on expenses.

However, the realm that I was about to step into had a sense of familiarity. My colleagues were striving towards becoming investment bankers, consultants or working for technology startups that were in their initial stages. They worked tirelessly, sometimes even sacrificing their sleep to conduct Mergers and Acquisitions deals. They would answer phone calls at 2 am just to placate domineering clients. I had anticipated that moving to a city with a calmer pace of life would grant me a contrasting lifestyle.

It didn't work out. When I finished job interviews, I used to inquire about the company's work-life balance. I would usually receive responses from hiring managers telling me that my preference of not being on call until the wee hours of the morning didn't align with what a typical MBA graduate would do, implying that I was making a mistake. However, my aim was never to conform to societal norms - my objective was to challenge them.

I was given chances and evaluated for positions that I later discovered demanded a crazy schedule of 90-100 hours a week and constant nighttime phone calls. When I declined because of the excessive hours, someone told me that I was losing out on what should be ten years of pure dedication, and that leaving work before midnight is indolent. As a person who began working at 14, it's extremely discouraging and irritating to hear that after 16 years, some people might perceive my search for equilibrium as slothful.

I've come to the realization that traditional consulting isn't a good fit for me, but I've found that running my own consulting business is a better match. I'm passionate about my work and always prioritize it, even while juggling multiple ambitious endeavors such as producing a podcast and writing a book. Operating my own business gives me freedom and flexibility to set my own schedule and maintain financial security. While I'm open to the possibility of pursuing a job opportunity that aligns with my values in the future, I'm currently forging my own path and enjoying the journey.

During my time at Columbia, I conducted a study on my own and spoke with various business leaders and recent graduates regarding their career choices. After completing my thesis, I continued to interview hundreds more individuals. Surprisingly, a lot of executives recommended that their younger selves should avoid spending too much time at work due to the significant sacrifices they had made in their personal lives.

The previous leader of a well-known entertainment firm stated that they dedicated excessive time to work and not enough time with their loved ones. I found this to be a common sentiment amongst technology executives who shared with me how they regretted missing pivotal moments in their children's lives. They acknowledged that during those instances, work responsibilities may have felt crucial, but in retrospect, they wished they had prioritized attending their children's sports events.

After I inquired further whether they thought their success would have been possible without making sacrifices, they replied affirmatively, adding that their definition of success might have varied had they not made those sacrifices.

For me, variety is effective. I attached these personal realizations onto my wall to keep in mind that ultimately, what's essential is how you spent your time rather than just your job tasks.