CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews Black Doves on Netflix: Imagine Love Actually remade by Quentin...

Written by Christopher Stevens, television reviewer for the Daily Mail.

Published: 10:38 PM GMT, December 5, 2024 | Updated: 1:38 AM GMT, December 6, 2024

Ben Whishaw is among our greatest actors, a top-tier talent who merges star appeal with a sensitive, endearing quality. Whether he's in Bond films, performing Shakespeare, bringing Dickens to life, or voicing Paddington, he captivates audiences.

Even he can't salvage the laughable dialogue in Black Doves—a Netflix spy thriller that awkwardly shifts from a holiday romantic comedy to intense, over-the-top violence, ultimately missing the mark on both fronts.

Picture a reimagining of Love Actually directed by Quentin Tarantino, blended with a BBC series focused on a love triangle involving gay architects in North London. The result would be something only slightly less terrible than Black Doves.

There are moments when Whishaw clearly seems to abandon his lines, allowing the words to spill out without trying to polish them, fully aware that nothing he could do would make them sound any better.

While parked in a car alongside his co-star Keira Knightley, who is described as the only woman captivating enough to make him move on from a lifestyle filled with brief affairs in hotel rooms with men, he gazed directly through the windshield and said, "Helen Webb, the undercover agent within the government. I've heard you found love. That was foolish."

Ben Whishaw is one of our top actors, but even he can’t salvage the laughable dialogue in Black Doves, a Netflix spy thriller that awkwardly shifts between festive romantic comedy and intense action, failing miserably at both.

Keira Knightley stars in Black Dove. It seems that she is the only woman charming enough to make Whishaw set aside his history of casual encounters with men in hotel rooms.

Things weren’t made any better by the fact that Helen's face was covered in blood and bits of brain matter. Just moments before, Ben had introduced himself by taking out an attacker with a shotgun. He not only saved her life but also managed to keep her leather jacket clean—somehow, the mess hit her from the neck up but left her outfit unscathed. Nicely done, sir.

Helen's husband is the charismatic Wallace Webb (played by Andrew Buchan), the Defence Secretary who is seen as a potential future Prime Minister of Britain. Unbeknownst to him, Helen married him to get her hands on sensitive government information, which she secretly passes on to the main antagonist, Reed (portrayed by Sarah Lancashire).

Spotlight on the week's man cave

The prop buyers must have had a blast assembling the set for Bertie Carvel’s 1970s bachelor pad in Dalgliesh (Chapter 5). Among the highlights were a massive leather sofa that looked like it belonged on a Viking ship, funky mushroom-shaped lamps, bright yellow Formica countertops, and an old cassette radio, all of which added to the charm.

Reed unexpectedly shows up at a Cabinet Christmas party with some troubling information—she's aware of the hush-hush relationship Helen has been having with the attractive civil servant, Jason. To make matters worse, Jason is now dead.

We were already aware of this, having witnessed it firsthand: while navigating through a crowd of Santas and inebriated partygoers on the Millennium Bridge, Jason (played by Andrew Koji) suddenly had a strong intuition that danger was imminent. Instead of fleeing, he chose to stand still on the Embankment. After all, he had a role to fulfill in the story, and escaping wouldn’t contribute to that.

A gunshot echoed through the air. Jason, hit in the heart, stumbled over to a nearby park bench. He collapsed onto it, completed a voice message for Helen, and then took his last breath.

The police were puzzled and, to be honest, didn't conduct much of an investigation, other than placing some crime scene tape around the bench. However, Reed sensed that Helen was in serious jeopardy and called on the only person who could protect her—Ben's character, Sam.

Omari Douglas and Ben Whishaw star in this unique project. Picture a reimagining of Love Actually directed by Quentin Tarantino, combined with a BBC series centered on a romantic triangle involving gay architects in North London. You’ll end up with something that’s maybe half as disappointing as Black Doves.

Sarah Lancashire plays the role of the main antagonist, Reed. During the series, she unexpectedly interrupts a Cabinet Christmas party to deliver some unsettling news.

Sam exited the bar in Rome, feeling downcast. He had just experienced a brief fling and enjoyed a playful dinner with friends he'd not seen in ages—the gay architects. Despite all that, he still managed to meet up with Helen just in time to thwart her attackers.

All of this, along with festive tunes from Mud and Shakin' Stevens.

Ha ha ha, dear readers.